Sunday, June 9, 2013

#blogjune - Post 10 - Exercise vs Career - Fear of Failure

I did it!!  I ran/jogged 8.5km this morning!!  It is a public holiday and I got up at 5.15am to meet 5 other ladies to run at 6am.  The ladies I ran with are training for a 42km marathon and I ran 8.5km with them and did not lag behind like I thought I would - such an achievement for me!!

So then I started thinking about the links between exercise/training and professional development.

For a long time I have been doing some form of exercise everyday - walking mainly - but at times it was aerobics, swimming, bike riding but always the base of walking.

I like chocolate and I'm not a slim person so exercise is my way of justifying the 100g of M&M's I have every night.

However, since going to bootcamp I often get asked what am I trying achieve?  Do I have a goal or goals?

I usually provide a very vague answer about wanting to get fitter, being able to eat chocolate without guilt and losing a couple of kilo's.  Nothing definite.

You see, I'm not very good at setting goals because of fear of not reaching them - failure!!  So I set vague targets so if I don't meet them I won't be disappointed.

Unfortunately, I feel I'm the same when it comes to career goals.  If someone asks me, where do you want to be in 5 years?  I'll most likely answer - employed!  Which probably isn't such a silly answer with the changes coming up in NSW local government.  But what do I want to achieve in the next 5 years - career wise?!?  Well, I have never really thought about it because I don't want to set something and not get there - fail!

When I was at school it was easy - you got marks/grades for work.  You knew how you were achieving and you could set yourself goals.  Although I was the same in school - while I always wanted to get high achievements - I would convince myself to be happy with a high so that I wasn't disappointed if I didn't get there.

When I first started work, it was hard to know where I was and what I wanted to achieve.  There was no benchmark - no goals - no grading.  So I said, I want a full time job.  Then when I got the full time job, it took me a while, but then it was that I wanted to move up a grade and so on.

Then it was, well I want to get my librarian qualifications - and yes I convinced myself to be happy with a pass so I wouldn't get disappointed if I didn't get a distinction.  I really wanted a distinction but didn't want to fail!

Then it was, I want a librarian position, then a supervisory position and so on.  But there was always the fall back - it's ok if I don't get there because I'll be happy with ...... so I wouldn't feel a failure!

Now back to exercise.  I have recently taken up running again and have set myself little hurdles - like I described in my previous post - I will run to that point, then to the next point and so on.  So why is it so easy to do this with running but not with my career??  8.5km is not that far, but prior to running it I had convinced myself that I'd probably lag behind and finish a long time after everyone else - I set myself up so I wouldn't feel disappointed if I didn't finish - so I wouldn't fail!

I'd really like to change my way of thinking and really set myself some goals without thinking about failure.  Because I think if I did this, I'd feel better about myself and feel the sense of achievement (like I am feeling this morning) more often and that will keep me moving forward.

How do you set goals?  Do you fear failure?  Is fear holding you back?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sharon,
    Firstly - CONGRATULATIONS!!! Doesn't it feel great when you manage to do something you thought was too hard?
    I find with running in a group it is important to not think about failing or not matching up to others, you need to have your own goals in order to avoid feeling discouraged - for me that was deciding 'I don't care if I'm slower than everyone, I am making my own progress'.
    I've had similar problems with lack of goals from the career perspective, not so much a fear of failure but just not knowing what to aim for. I've finished my library grad dip last year and was more than content to just plod along with my job while studying. Now that I am qualified I am making a concerted effort to work out what my goals are!
    Good luck with both the running and the career goals :)
    Catherine

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